Hi friends,
This is the spring break edition.
I’m writing to you from Colorado where all three of my boys are out skiing. It’s about –10°, and I’m cozied up in the cabin writing because I don’t ski.
There was a time when I might have felt like I was missing out. These days, those thoughts have mostly quieted. I’m actually quite happy doing my own thing. My youngest son often doesn’t ski either, so I usually get some sweet one-on-one time with him while the others are on the mountain.
My youngest and I went snowshoeing. His version of fun…
I wanted to share a small win from last night.
Some friends came over for dinner. They used to be our neighbors across the street in St. Louis before they moved to Colorado, and I’ve always genuinely enjoyed their company.
When I first met them, I was very much in my drinking phase of life. I remember seeing her husband about a year after I had stopped drinking and he gave me some playful grief about it. Nothing mean-spirited at all, but I remember feeling a little self-conscious. Our friendship had started during a time when I did drink, and returning to that relationship without alcohol felt a little clunky at first.
But last night, we sat around the table telling stories and laughing, and at no point did I feel like I wished I had a drink. Not even a flicker of jealousy about the beers they were having, including my husband.
No one got tipsy. Nothing dramatic happened. It was just easy.
And afterward I told my husband how nice it felt to notice that ease.
Because if I’m honest, being social without alcohol hasn’t always felt simple like that. In the early days, my mind could get pretty busy scanning the room… wondering if I seemed different, wondering if people noticed, wondering if things felt awkward.
What I’m starting to see more clearly now is that much of that discomfort wasn’t actually coming from other people. It was coming from the stories in my own mind about how the interaction should be going.
Alcohol used to act like a kind of social glue. Or at least that’s the story many of us carry. But when you remove it, something interesting happens. You begin to see the relationships themselves a little more clearly.
Sometimes you realize the connection was always there.
And sometimes you realize the alcohol may have been smoothing things over, making it harder to see what was actually there in the relationship or…what wasn’t.
None of this needs to be dramatic or sad. It’s often much quieter than that. Some relationships deepen. Some shift slightly. Some fade in a very natural way.
Almost like a kind of gentle pruning that life does on its own.
Another thing I’ve noticed is that the mind loves to predict discomfort. It tells us things like this will be awkward or you’ll feel left out.
But often, when the moment actually arrives, it’s just… ordinary. A table, some laughter, a good conversation.
Last night I did have a non-alcoholic beer that my husband grabbed for me at the store, which was thoughtful. But even without it, I think the evening would have been perfectly fine.
And if you’re in a place where social situations don’t feel fine yet, if you feel restless, anxious, or unsure when you don’t have a drink in your hand, it might be interesting to gently look at what’s really happening in that moment.
Is it the people around you?
Or is it the thoughts your mind is creating about the moment?
Or sometimes, is it simply a burst of uncomfortable energy moving through the body that we’re not used to letting pass on its own?
Wherever you are in your own exploration of drinking less (or not drinking at all), I just wanted to share that there really are moments where it becomes so easy you barely think about it.
And when those moments show up, they feel pretty wonderful.
Here’s a short section you can add toward the end of the newsletter (right before your closing paragraph works nicely). I kept it casual and aligned with the tone you already established:
And before I sign off, a quick reminder about our next Sober Sisters STL gathering.
We’ll be meeting March 31st from 7:00–8:30 PM at Goldie’s Hair & Wardrobe. If you feel like getting out for a bit, come join us. The evening is very low-key - a little spring shopping, some time to gather and connect, and we’ll take just a few moments of quiet together before opening up a conversation around urges and cravings.
There’s nothing formal about it. Truly just a nice chance for us to spend some time together in real life.
I’ll also have some Recess drinks on hand. They’re a fun line of non-alcoholic beverages that include adaptogens and magnesium, so if you’re curious about alcohol-free options, it’s a nice one to try.
If you’d like to come, you can grab a spot through the Eventbrite link below so we have a sense of numbers.
I’d love to see you there.