Two Things I’d Love for Us to Loosen Our Grip On (Hint: The Scale)

Plus the menu for March 30-April 3rd

When I work with clients, I’ve noticed there are two things that often get in the way of what they want.

But before I get into them, I want to name something that feels important.

Most of this isn’t something we consciously choose.

The way we think about our bodies, our health, what we “should” be doing, it was learned somewhere along the way. Picked up over time. Repeated. Reinforced.

From parents. From coaches. From a quick comment in a doctor’s office. From reading Seventeen magazine as a teenager. And now, from podcasts, Instagram, TikTok.

It’s conditioning.

And conditioning can run deep enough that it starts to feel like us, like our own voice, our own beliefs.

But it was learned. Handed down. Sometimes we went looking for it, and other times it was given to us without us even realizing it.

Which is why I’ve been more interested lately in the idea of unlearning. Not in a forceful way, and not in a “fix it” kind of way, but simply noticing that some of what we’ve been taught might not actually be helping.

And just to say, if anything I share here doesn’t resonate, that’s completely okay.

The Scale

I gave up weighing myself about five or six years ago. My scale still sits under my bed, collecting dust.

I used to step on it every morning. It was automatic, part of my routine. There was this quiet sense that if the number landed in the “right” place, everything was okay. I was doing it right. I was in control.

Looking back, I don’t remember a big moment where I decided to stop. But I do remember feeling fed up, with how much power that number had, and the quiet belief that my weight said something about my worth.

There was some curiosity there too… what would it feel like to start my day without it?

And over time, it fell away.

But I do remember how much weight (no pun intended) that number used to carry. It could shift my mood. Change how I moved through the rest of my day.

And I still see this with clients.

Someone will come in and share all these really meaningful shifts. They hit a PR on a trail run. They have more energy during the day. They’re surprised their cravings have quieted down.

Those are the wins.

But then there’s the loss, the scale didn’t change.

And somehow, everything they just shared gets wiped clean, like it’s erased off a whiteboard and replaced with a big red X.

And it makes sense… because that’s where we’ve been taught to look.

But this number, this simple relationship between your body and gravity, doesn’t deserve that much power.

In fact, more and more clinicians are starting to look beyond weight and BMI. I recently read a Substack by Mara Gordon, MD that really captured this shift, focusing on health in ways that feel both more meaningful and less stigmatizing, like how you feel in your body, how you’re performing, your energy, your labs, your mood, your sleep.

I don't focus on my patients' weight. Here's what we talk about instead.

I sometimes wonder… if we had never been taught to weigh ourselves, would we feel lost trying to understand our health?

Or would we just notice how our clothes fit, pay attention to how we feel and move through our day: our energy, our mood, our strength, and go from there?

Most of my clients are surprised when I tell them I’d actually prefer they don’t weigh themselves.

“Really? You don’t need that?” No. Not really. Because you already have so much better data.

So if I could let one thing soften a bit, it would be how much meaning we place on that number.

And in a lot of ways, this second one is just a more subtle version of the same thing.

Focused on “Fixing”

When I went through my change coaching program, one idea that stayed with me was the concept of innate health in every client.

I don’t necessarily mean physical or mental health here, it’s something deeper. And yes, it can sound a little hard to define, maybe even a bit “woo.” But it points to the idea that there is more right within us than we often realize.

Have you ever left a healthcare appointment feeling like there’s more wrong than right about you?

When we shift to building on what’s already working, on the innate health we are, it changes the entire lens through which we experience ourselves.

And in today’s world, with constant access to information (my personal rabbit hole is podcasts), it’s easy to slip into a mindset of “not enough” or a subtle urgency to fix something.

I’ve noticed this in myself.

I recently listened to a podcast about fiber and dietary variety, and suddenly I found myself thinking, I’m falling short. Look at all these foods I haven’t tried. So of course, I added them… a little too aggressively, and my y digestive system had plenty to say about that!

Example 2…

On a spring break hike, I listened to a podcast on neurodiversity for one of my kids. The conversation was thoughtful, grounded, and genuinely helpful. I was nodding along, taking mental notes, feeling grateful.

And then, toward the end, the guest mentioned that her son had eliminated dairy and gluten, and how much of a game changer it had been. Trigger alert! Even though I know that the science isn’t robust for what she wasn’t pointing to, it still made me question: Wait… is this something I should be doing? Am I missing something?

For this woman, it was clear, that was exactly what her son needed. But we can hold what works for one person without assuming it’s something we all need to follow.

I love curiosity. I love learning. I love wanting to understand how to support ourselves.

But it’s also helpful to pause and ask: Where is this coming from?

Is it coming from fear?
From insecurity?
Or does it feel more like clarity and groundedness?

Sometimes (actually, most of the time) our most useful insights don’t come from a podcast, the book, or TikTok, but from ourselves.

I often say: the brain (our thoughts) can be wrong (a lot!), but the body and its sensations are usually right.

So if something consistently leaves you feeling like you might be getting it wrong…

that’s worth paying attention to.

So back to “unlearning…”

Just because something was learned doesn’t mean it has to be held onto. And just because it feels automatic doesn’t mean it’s who you are. Sometimes there’s a lot more clarity when we step back…and trust what’s already there.

Menu for the Week of March 30-April 3rd

For those that celebrate Easter, I thought I’d share a few Easter-inspired recipes!

Monday

Roasted Cauliflower Pasta with Lemon Ricotta: Once upon a time, I tried a Sunbasket recipe (one of those meal kits) that inspired this, and I loved it. I’ve been recreating my own version ever since. Definitely add fresh mint to this one!

Tuesday

Moroccan Bean Salad: A hearty, plant-based spring salad that works perfectly for lunch.

Wednesday

Ham Fried Rice: Got leftover holiday ham? This is an easy, “throw it all together” kind of meal.

Thursday

Wasabi Deviled Eggs: I made these for a recipe book club, and they were a hit. A small touch of wasabi transforms this classic appetizer. You could even smash them into a wrap for a quick sandwich.

Friday

Cadbury Creme Egg Protein Smoothie: Cadbury Creme Eggs are my favorite Easter candy. I was shocked this recipe even existed—and I definitely don’t recommend it. I do recommend just eating the candy though. This one’s more of a playful add-on.

Let’s go spring! XO Jen