She walked into the kitchen and noticed dirty dishes sitting in the sink.

That was the first thing: there were dishes in the sink.

But her mind didn’t stop there.

How long have those been sitting there? Why doesn’t she clean up after herself? Is she overwhelmed? Is she depressed?

And eventually, the thought landed somewhere much closer to home:

Did I raise a daughter who doesn’t know how to take care of herself?

Somewhere between seeing the dishes and asking that question, something happened.

The dishes stopped being dishes. They became evidence.

Evidence about her daughter. Evidence about how she had parented. Evidence, ultimately, about herself.

There were, of course, a million possible explanations for those dishes. Maybe her daughter had been running late. Maybe she’d had friends over. Maybe she was planning to wash them after work. Maybe she simply didn’t care very much about dishes sitting in the sink.

But I’m becoming interested in something even more basic than figuring out which explanation is true.

What happens if we notice the difference between description, meaning, and story?

The description

A description stays fairly close to what actually happened or what we’re experiencing.

There are dishes in the sink.

That’s it.

And I’m going to make a fairly large leap from dirty dishes to something that comes up constantly in my work: our bodies.

Imagine a woman going through perimenopause whose body has changed. She steps onto a scale and sees that her weight has moved from 147 pounds to 156.

The description might simply be:

My weight has changed from 147 to 156.

Nine pounds.

End of statement.

That doesn’t mean she can’t have feelings about the change. It doesn’t mean she can’t decide she’d like to do something differently. Maybe her clothes aren’t as comfortable. Maybe she’s physically uncomfortable. Maybe her doctor has brought up something worth paying attention to. Maybe she decides to buy a pair of pants that fits her current body better.

Description doesn’t mean passivity.

It simply doesn’t require us to immediately turn what happened into something about who we are.

Then comes meaning

This is where things can change very quickly.

What does 156 mean about me?

Maybe:

I’ve let myself go.

I haven’t been disciplined enough.

I have no willpower around sweets.

I should have been paying more attention.

Now we’ve moved beyond the number.

The number has become evidence about the person standing on the scale.

And from there, the mind has plenty of material for a story.

Then comes the story

If I don’t get on top of this now, my weight is going to keep creeping up.

I’m going to end up gaining another ten pounds.

I need to get myself under control.

Notice how far we’ve traveled from:

147 became 156.

The story may reach backward, gathering evidence from the past. It may reach forward, predicting what will happen next. It may compare us to someone else. And very often, it creates a character at the center of all of it:

me.

The undisciplined me.

The inconsistent me.

The me who can’t get it together.

And perhaps this is worth noticing because somewhere along that path, suffering often gets added to an experience that may already be uncomfortable.

The same thing can happen around food, where a physically uncomfortable experience can quickly become a judgment about who we are.

A meal becomes a judgment about who you are.

You go out to dinner and eat more than feels comfortable.

Description:

My stomach feels really full.

I ate past the point that felt good.

Taking a walk sounds good right now.

Meaning:

I have no self-control around food.

Story:

I always do this at restaurants. If I keep eating like this, I’m going to get completely out of control.

Again, none of this means we can’t learn from an experience.

Maybe you realize you don’t enjoy feeling that full. Maybe next time you want to eat differently. Maybe there genuinely is something about your eating that deserves attention.

But those possibilities don’t require turning one uncomfortable dinner into a statement about your character.

We do something similar when circumstances disrupt the routines we associate with taking good care of ourselves.

A busy week becomes evidence that you don’t prioritize yourself. Work has been unusually demanding and you miss several workouts.

Description:

Work was heavier than usual this week.

I didn’t make it to the gym.

My body misses moving.

Next week I’m going to ask my husband to pick up the kids one afternoon so I can go.

Meaning:

I always put work before myself.

Story:

I’m so easy to derail. My husband somehow manages to exercise no matter how busy he is. If I can’t even stay consistent with this, I’m never going to make progress.

There it is again. It became something about me.

Then that meaning became part of a much larger story about who I have been, who I am, and what is likely to happen to me next.

Where does the suffering begin?

I’m not suggesting that we police our thoughts or try to replace every “negative” story with a more positive one.

I gained nine pounds, but that’s okay!

That’s still meaning-making. It’s just meaning-making that sounds nicer.

I’m more interested in seeing what was there before we decided what it meant.

There are dishes in the sink.

The scale says 156.

My stomach is very full.

I haven’t exercised this week.

Perhaps there’s information there. Perhaps there’s an action to take. Perhaps there isn’t.

But before moving on, it might be interesting to notice when the mind adds the next layer:

And this means something about me.

A few things I’ve been playing with:

• Find the description. What happened before you explained it? What could a camera have captured, or what can you directly feel in your body?

• Listen for identity language. I’m lazy. I’m undisciplined. I’m bad at this. I always do this. That’s often a clue that description has become meaning.

• Notice time travel. I always… I never… This is going to… If I keep this up… may signal that a present experience has expanded into a story about the past or future.

• Check the body. What happens physically when you say, I haven’t exercised in a week compared with I’m so inconsistent? Sometimes the body recognizes the difference before the mind does.

• Remember that description doesn’t prevent action. Seeing something without making it mean something about you doesn’t mean ignoring it. You can buy the bigger pants. Make the doctor’s appointment. Take the walk. Ask for help. Go to the gym next week. Wash the dishes.

Maybe the invitation isn’t to stop telling stories.

Maybe it’s simply to become a little more aware of when we have left what happened and begun telling ourselves what what happened means about who we are.

And to notice how different those two things can feel.

Menu for the Week of September 21-25th

Recipes inspired by this past week’s silent retreat.

Monday

Mediterranean Pasta Salad with Chickpeas

Tuesday

Green Goddess Salmon

Wednesday

Apple Cinnamon Overnight Oats

Thursday

Trader Joes’ Gluten-Free Pumpkin Muffins with Seeds (no link here, but this mix is awesome, and I added pumpkin seeds, chia seeds, walnuts and sunflower seeds & topped with peanut butter. YUM.

Friday

Very Incredible Basil Sauce

May fall show up, soon. XO

We need some soup recipes…

I had just spent a rich, slow, intentional weekend surrounded by quiet and nature. And then I walked back into a home under construction, a makeshift basement kitchen that was a disaster, dog hair on the floor, stuff everywhere.

One of my kids came home from playing golf, flopped into the La-Z-Boy, pulled out his phone, and asked me to make him lunch.

I’ll give him credit. He did ask how the silent retreat was.

And I was thrown into quite a mood.

Have you ever heard of the second arrow?

It’s a Buddhist analogy for what happens when something difficult occurs. The first arrow is the thing itself: the pain, discomfort, frustration, disappointment. The second arrow is what we add to it: our resistance, judgment, and story about what is happening.

There was certainly a first arrow that afternoon.

I had gone from quiet, spaciousness, nature, and very few demands to noise, mess, construction, children, animals, and responsibilities. My system did not particularly enjoy the transition.

But the second arrow was probably more painful:

I just got back from a silent retreat. Shouldn’t I feel more accepting? More at ease? More peaceful?

I felt anything but.

Once some of that settled, though, something became quite clear.

I began noticing all the roles and responsibilities I have here at home. Yes, many of them are simply things that need to get done.

But there is also so much I have fallen into because we have given it names like responsibility, thoughtfulness, caring, self-sacrifice, being a good mother, being a good wife.

These are virtuous words.

And sometimes those things arise completely naturally.

Other times, I’m starting to notice, they happen despite what might actually be true here.

I’m in the middle of something and a child asks me to do something he could reasonably do himself.

Something in me knows:

I’m in the middle of this right now. Can you handle that yourself?

But the thoughtful mom swoops in:

Sure, buddy. Happy to help.

A text comes through from another parent:

Yes, I can take your child to his sporting event tomorrow. I’m hoping I can get there on time.

Instead of simply saying, Thank you, I immediately start looking for a way to make her generosity more comfortable for me.

Wait, could I make this easier for her? Maybe I should get them next time. Could I pick up her daughter? What can I offer in return?

I might even offer something I don’t particularly want to do, or can’t realistically do, because I want to be someone who is thoughtful.

Or I’m exhausted at the end of the day. I haven’t seen my youngest much, so I offer to read him a story before bed.

Part of me genuinely wants that connection.

And another part of me just wants to crawl into bed and read my own book.

Sometimes I push through anyway because that is what a good mother does.

I’m beginning to think of these moments as tiny abandonments.

Not dramatic betrayals of myself. Nothing anyone else would even notice.

Just tiny moments when something feels true, and I leave it almost immediately.

Read more

At some point, while we’re talking about physical activity or exercise, an injury, pain, or physical limitation comes up.

Sometimes it’s an old injury that flares when they train. Sometimes it’s something recent. And sometimes it’s simply the collection of aches, pains, and changes that can come with getting older.

A few years ago, I was dealing with significant foot pain of my own.

I had intense, nerve-like pain around my heel. It hurt whether I was walking, sitting, exercising, or doing absolutely nothing. I saw countless practitioners trying to understand what was wrong. Perhaps even more significantly, my mind became completely consumed with figuring out how to fix it.

This went on for about nine months.

Eventually, an MRI revealed a 50 percent tear in my plantar fascia. That could certainly have accounted for some of the pain, but it didn’t seem to explain all of it.

To support the healing of the tear, I decided to have a PRP injection. I rested. I also read several books about the relationship between the mind and pain and began exploring the practice I’m going to tell you about next.

Today, I’m able to run again.

So what made the pain go away? Was it the rest? The PRP injection? What I learned about pain and the brain? The practice I began using with my body?

Honestly, I don’t know.

But one approach became, and remains, an important part of how I relate to pain, movement, and my body: the Feldenkrais Method.

The strange little practice that changed how I move

I found Feldenkrais through a friend.

Somewhere around month nine of my foot saga, I posted a picture on Instagram saying I was training for a century bike ride because I had no idea when, or whether, I would be able to run comfortably again.

My friend Sandy Weiss reached out. Sandy is a physical therapist and Guild Certified Feldenkrais Practitioner here in St. Louis, and she introduced me to an entirely different way of thinking about movement.

When I mention Feldenkrais to clients now, very few have heard of it.

Which is one of the reasons I wanted to write this.

Of all the things I’ve done to support my body - running, strength training, yoga, physical therapy, mindfulness, and meditation - Feldenkrais has been one of the most influential.

And it is remarkably difficult to explain.

So what exactly is Feldenkrais?

The Feldenkrais Method was developed by Moshe Feldenkrais, a physicist, engineer and martial artist born in 1904. He studied physics at the Sorbonne in Paris and became one of the first Europeans to earn a black belt in judo. After dealing with a significant knee injury of his own, he began exploring the relationships among movement, physics, biomechanics, learning, and the nervous system. That exploration eventually became the Feldenkrais Method. (Feldenkrais Method)

Today, it is generally described as a form of somatic education: using gentle movement and attention to bodily sensations to become aware of habitual patterns and explore other possibilities for moving. (Feldenkrais Method)

There are two primary ways it is taught.

Awareness Through Movement lessons are generally guided verbally. You might lie on the floor while a teacher invites you to make a series of very small movements and notice what you feel.

Functional Integration is one-on-one. A practitioner uses gentle touch and movement to help you experience different possibilities for how your body can organize itself.

Honestly, I find it easier to explain Feldenkrais by saying what it isn’t.

• It isn’t exercise.

• It isn’t stretching.

• It isn’t trying harder.

• It isn’t forcing your body into the “correct” position.

• And it isn’t about doing more.

In fact, much of the time it feels like the opposite.

What a lesson actually feels like

Many Awareness Through Movement lessons happen lying on the floor.

You might begin simply by noticing how your body contacts the ground. Does one shoulder feel heavier? Does one side of your pelvis feel different from the other? Where do your heels rest? How does your head want to turn?

Then you begin moving.

Slowly.

Maybe you roll one knee a few inches. Turn your head. Move your eyes. Shift your pelvis. Lift a shoulder.

Nothing particularly impressive happens from the outside.

The movements are often deliberately small and comfortable. You’re encouraged to notice differences rather than push through them, and to reduce unnecessary effort rather than stretch farther or work harder.

And this is probably the part I love most:

You don’t have to fix yourself.

I have spent plenty of time doing physical therapy exercises while thinking very hard about whether my knee was tracking correctly or my glute was firing or my core was engaged.

Feldenkrais feels different.

I pay attention while I’m doing the lesson. I explore. I notice. And then I get up and go about my life.

I don’t spend the rest of the day reminding myself how I’m supposed to walk.

The learning happens through the experience itself.

There is something about that idea that extends well beyond movement for me.

Maybe we don’t always learn best by trying harder.

Maybe sometimes we learn by becoming sensitive enough to notice another possibility.

Your body isn’t the problem

There is another piece of Feldenkrais that I didn’t expect to matter as much as it does.

It changed the way I think about my body.

So often when we seek help for pain, we leave with a list of everything that is supposedly wrong.

• This muscle is too tight.

• That one is weak.

• This hip doesn’t move enough.

• Your pelvis is rotated.

• Your leg is doing this thing it shouldn’t be doing.

You can walk out feeling as though you’ve been handed an inventory of your body’s defects.

That wasn’t how Sandy talked about me.

I remember her noticing something one of my legs was doing and explaining that it might be organizing itself that way because it was helping another part of me.

That landed very differently.

Instead of:

Look what your body is doing wrong.

It became:

Look what your body figured out how to do.

Maybe the pattern isn’t useful anymore. Maybe there is another way that would be easier. But the starting place isn’t that the body has failed.

It’s curiosity.

I’ve come to love the idea that my body has been adapting on my behalf for my entire life.

I don’t really think in terms of my “bad foot” and my “good foot” anymore.

They’re both feet. And they’re doing the best they can with the options available to them.

Less effort can create more possibility

Most of us have been taught a very different relationship with our bodies.

Stretch farther.

Strengthen the weak thing.

Push a little harder.

Correct your posture.

Do your exercises.

Feldenkrais asks something closer to:

What happens if you do less?

Could the movement be smaller?

Could it be easier?

Could you stop before you reach the edge?

Could you notice what the rest of your body is doing while one part moves?

There is something almost subversive about discovering that the nervous system can learn through gentleness.

And I can’t help noticing how often this seems true elsewhere in life.

We assume change requires force.

Sometimes it requires attention.

What happens afterward?

This is the part that made me a believer. At the beginning of a lesson, I might notice that one side of my body feels heavier against the floor, or that turning one direction feels easier.

Forty-five minutes later, I stand up.
Same body. My body hasn’t been miraculously repaired.
But something is different.
Walking often feels smoother. I feel more upright without trying to stand upright. My feet seem to meet the ground differently. Sometimes I feel almost lighter, as though gravity has lost some of its strength.

The Feldenkrais Method is built around the idea that awareness gives us access to movement possibilities beyond our habitual ones. In other words, rather than repeatedly telling the body what it should do, we give the nervous system opportunities to experience alternatives.

That has been my experience of it.

Not magic. Learning.

And you don’t have to be injured

This is another misconception I want to clear up.

You don’t need a torn plantar fascia. You don’t even need pain.

Feldenkrais can be used by people wanting to move more comfortably, improve coordination or balance, return to activities they enjoy, or simply become more aware of how they move. Lessons can be done privately, in groups, over Zoom, through recorded audio, and sometimes in just a few minutes.

I’ve also worked with Jae Gruenke, founder of The Balanced Runner. Jae is a certified Feldenkrais practitioner and running-technique expert who has spent more than 20 years adapting the Feldenkrais Method specifically for runners from beginners to Olympians, and especially those dealing with pain or injuries that haven’t resolved through more traditional approaches.

Our work was done remotely through her online camp where I sent her videos of myself running. She studied the way my whole body moved, not simply the place where I was experiencing pain. Based on what she saw, she selected specific Feldenkrais lessons for me to explore.

Now, when something begins cropping up in my body, my knee feels funny, my hip starts talking to me, or running suddenly doesn’t feel quite right, I often stop and return to one of Jae’s lessons..

One option worth exploring

Pain and injury deserve appropriate medical evaluation, and there are absolutely situations where rest, rehabilitation, medication, surgery, or other treatment is necessary.

But I also think our bodies often have more capacity than we give them credit for.

And sometimes when we’re told, You shouldn’t run anymore or At your age, that’s just how it is, we’re hearing the limits of one person’s framework - not necessarily the limits of our bodies.

Curious?

There isn’t one right way to start, but if it’s accessible to you, I love the idea of beginning with a trained practitioner.

Having someone guide you through it can help you understand what the heck you’re supposed to be doing, which, ironically, is mostly learning that you’re not supposed to be trying very hard at all.

After that, there are wonderful ways to explore it on your own.

In St. Louis: My practitioner is Sandy Weiss, PT, GCFP, founder of Mind Body Science Works. Sandy is both a physical therapist and Guild Certified Feldenkrais Practitioner and offers individual Functional Integration sessions as well as Awareness Through Movement classes. (Mind Body Science Works)

Mind Body Science Works

For runners: Jae Gruenke, founder of The Balanced Runner, is a certified Feldenkrais practitioner and running technique specialist who has spent more than two decades applying this work specifically to running. I’ve worked with her remotely through video analysis and Feldenkrais lessons.

The Balanced Runner

For free lessons at home: The Feldenkrais Project, created by Nick Strauss-Klein, is an extraordinary resource. It currently offers more than 50 free audio lessons, including a “Getting Oriented” collection specifically designed for beginners. (Feldenkrais Project)

The Feldenkrais Project

You can also search the Feldenkrais Guild of North America to find a trained practitioner in your area.

Find a Feldenkrais practitioner

I see Sandy every six to eight weeks or whenever my body feels like it could use a tune-up. Between visits, I use lessons at home.

And I still have trouble explaining exactly what happens.

Maybe that’s okay.

You lie down. You pay attention. You move a little. You try less. You notice more.

And somehow, when you stand back up, there are possibilities that weren’t quite as available before.

For my body, yes.

But increasingly, I wonder if that’s true for a lot of things.

Menu for the Week of September 14-18th

Monday

Creamy Tomato Bean Soup

Tuesday

15-Minute Orange Chicken

Wednesday

Greek Marinated Shrimp Skewers

Thursday

Korean Ground Beef Rice Bowls

Friday

Date Snickers

Happy moving, xo Jen

It wasn’t because of the back-and-forth text messages involved in trying to get a group of women together. It wasn’t because of the women; they were incredibly lovely. And it wasn’t the time commitment. I have no problem pulling away from life for an evening.

Something had just started to feel different.

It was similar to what happened when I picked up a self-help book. I would enthusiastically read the first few chapters, only to fizzle out a few days later.

I notice a version of this now, too. A problem will pop up, and I’ll reach for my phone to “figure it out.” Then, within seconds, I’ll see what I’m doing and put it back in my pocket.

There is something about continually adding more: more information, more explanations, more understanding, more ways to improve, that my system seems to be rejecting.

The Promise of More

Our book club wasn’t technically a self-help book club. We mostly read nonfiction: books about understanding ourselves and the world around us. We read books like Stolen Focus by Johann Hari and 21 Lessons for the 21st Century by Yuval Noah Harari.

You might be wondering:

What’s wrong with that? What’s wrong with being curious? With seeking out the perspectives of thoughtful experts? With trying to better ourselves and the world?

At least, that’s what my mind said…along with: What will this group think of me when I make my exit?

But I’m starting to question the assumption that more information is necessarily how any of that happens.

And to be clear, I’m not losing interest in learning. I love learning. My curiosity may never be quenched when it comes to studying the microbiome and other topics related to my gut-health clients. When my son is advised to try medication for ADHD, I want to understand the differences among his options.

There are plenty of circumstances in which more information is exactly what we need.

But there are also times when gathering more information becomes a substitute for living - another attempt to find certainty, solve ourselves, or finally feel as though we understand enough.

Read more

I’m not a short-order cook.

One meal for the whole family.

These are some of the familiar phrases that shape how we think family dinner is supposed to work: one person makes the meal, and everyone else eats it.

And there is something reasonable underneath that expectation. Making dinner is already a considerable task. Making several different dinners to satisfy every preference at the table is simply not realistic.

But as a parent trying to feed a family with different tastes, appetites, and ideas about what sounds good, I’ve found that “one meal for the whole family” isn’t always as straightforward as it sounds.

A recent conversation with a client made me think about the other side of this.

She was describing how meals work in her home. Her husband does most of the shopping and cooking, and she has noticed that she tends to eat around his preferences. She enjoys a wider variety of vegetables and other foods than he does, but because he is doing the work of getting dinner on the table, she feels as though she should simply go along with whatever he wants.

As we talked, she wondered aloud whether this might go all the way back to childhood. Her parents’ approach was essentially, This is what we’re eating. There wasn’t much room for her to have a preference, or at least to express one.

And I thought: Well, yes. In many ways, that’s exactly what we were taught family meals were supposed to look like.

The quieter rule we’ve held onto…

The intention made sense. But the rigidity didn’t always serve families well.

Most families today probably aren’t sitting down to dinner saying, This is what I made. Eat it or go hungry. If anything, many parents are doing the opposite, thinking constantly about what everyone will eat and sometimes bending over backward to make it happen.

Still, a quieter version of that old rule may remain: A successful family meal is one where everyone eats the same thing.

And when that doesn’t happen, a little guilt can creep in.

Am I catering too much?
Am I making my child picky?
Should I just tell them this is what’s for dinner?

This may be where the old advice deserves a little flexibility.

No one needs to make four separate dinners. And exposing kids to a wide variety of foods still matters. They don’t have to eat those foods, or even take one bite, for the exposure to count. Seeing foods repeatedly and watching other people enjoy them are also part of learning to eat.

But exposure doesn’t require everyone to eat the same thing.

Maybe family dinner can have a shared structure without requiring a shared plate.

A shared structure, not a shared plate

My middle son helped me understand this when he was younger. If there wasn’t something on the table he felt he could eat, he would become incredibly frustrated. And this is a child who has never shied away from letting me know what’s up.

I understand that frustration much better now.

How many times have you been really hungry, looked at the available options, and thought, There is nothing here I want, or feel able, to eat?

That’s a hard place from which to approach a meal, whether you’re a child or an adult.

That doesn’t mean we have to continually remove unfamiliar foods or build every meal around the most selective eater. If we do that, we may unintentionally make their world of food smaller.

There’s still tremendous value in putting different foods on the table without requiring kids to eat them.

One of the principles I learned from pediatric feeding expert Ellyn Satter was to include something familiar at the meal.

So maybe tonight’s dinner is chicken curry, naan, fruit and vegetables. Your child can’t quite wrap their head around the curry yet, but they love the naan and fruit. They eat those and ask, Can I get a cheese stick too?

Sure.

The meal doesn’t have to become a battleground, and you don’t have to go back into the kitchen and cook another dinner.

Maybe another night everyone is eating pasta with meat sauce. One child wants plain noodles. Someone else adds parmesan but no sauce. Another person wants more vegetables. Maybe somebody grabs a yogurt to go with what they’re eating.

We’re still having dinner together.

And perhaps that’s the part we’ve confused a little over the years: family dinner doesn’t necessarily mean everyone eating exactly the same food.

One table, with room for everyone

Of course, one of the best ways to help kids become more interested in food is to involve them in the process. Let them choose something at the store. Ask what vegetable sounds good this week. Invite them to make something with you.

And as a mother, I also know that have your kids help you cook! can quickly become one more thing we should be doing.

So maybe it’s just an invitation when there’s time. A Saturday afternoon instead of a Tuesday at 5:45 pm.

Over time, those small invitations may expand what everyone eats and make the mythical one family meal a little easier to pull off.

The original advice wasn’t entirely wrong. Parents don’t need to become short-order cooks. Kids benefit from being around foods they wouldn’t necessarily choose themselves. And sometimes accommodating every preference can become exhausting for everyone involved.

But maybe we don’t need to turn those ideas into another rigid rule about what dinner is supposed to look like.

Maybe the goal was never really one meal, no exceptions.

Maybe it was one table, with room for everyone at it.

Menu for the Week of September 7-11th

Monday

High Protein Green Pasta with Peas (this was actually way easier than I thought and very tasty!)

Tuesday

One Pot Chicken Sausage, Spinach & Rice

Wednesday

Blackened Cod over Coconut Rice

Thursday

Spinach, Black Bean & Chipotle Quesadilla

Friday

Good Morning Coffee Smoothie

XO - Stay Cool, friends. Fall must be on the way soon?

How many times have you heard this? Or some related version?

If you’re a parent or caregiver, probably more times than you can count. And now that my oldest son has started high school, the frequency seems to have picked up.

Just wait until he starts driving.

You’ll never see him.

Soak it all up.

It goes by so fast.

I know these things are said with love. Usually by people who have already lived through this particular season.

But what, exactly, am I supposed to do with this information?

Should I keep a picture of my son in front of me and stare at it periodically so I can properly remember what it feels like to be his mom right now?

Should I scroll through old photos to remind myself how quickly we got here?

Should I attend every school event so I don’t “miss a thing”?

Should I be very, very present - while simultaneously checking to make sure I’m being present enough?

How does one accomplish this task everyone keeps encouraging us to do?

Because sometimes, if I’m not careful, make the most of it starts to feel less like an invitation and more like a weight on my chest.

Read more

I even remember taking a course about why chores are so valuable for kids and how to help them not hate doing them. But again, nothing lasted. Nothing was consistent.

Why? Maybe it was too hard to keep up with. Maybe there were too many moving parts. Maybe something about it didn’t feel right, even if I couldn’t quite explain why. Whatever the reason, it didn’t continue.

And then, of course, I would add guilt to the whole thing: It’s so important to be consistent with kids, and I don’t seem to be able to do that.

The Most Important Thing? Be Consistent!

And we hear about the importance of consistency everywhere else, too.

It’s not about how hard you work out; it’s about continuing to show up. It’s not about cooking the perfect meal; it’s about lowering the bar enough that you can still eat at home instead of relying on takeout. It’s not about how long you meditate; it’s about making space for even a little mental quiet each day.

Again and again, we’re told that what we do matters less than whether we can keep doing it.

All of this makes sense, and I agree with it. I can certainly see how it works in my own life. When I don’t feel like working out, modifying the workout so that I do a little something instead of nothing helps me move beyond the all-or-nothing thinking that so often gets in the way of our goals.

But there’s still something about the way we talk about consistency that I question.

Consistency assumes that life is relatively consistent. And it isn’t.

School starts. Someone gets sick. Work explodes. You travel. A child needs more from you. Your body changes. You’re grieving. It’s winter. It’s summer. The amount of time, energy, money, interest, and support available to us is constantly shifting.

So why would the healthiest response to an inconsistent life necessarily be consistent behavior?

“Consistency, not perfection” was probably intended to soften perfectionism. But sometimes consistency simply becomes perfectionism in friendlier clothes.

Did I work out enough this week?

I was doing so well.

I fell off.

I need to get back on track.

Without realizing it, we’ve created another imaginary line against which to judge ourselves.

We also begin telling stories about who we are based on the behaviors we maintain: I’m someone who exercises five days a week. I meal plan. I meditate every morning.

Then Tuesday arrives and none of those things happen.

Instead of Tuesday simply being Tuesday, it becomes evidence that something has happened to us: I was doing so well. What happened?

But maybe nothing happened. Maybe something simply fell away because the conditions changed.

Maybe you cooked regularly for three months, and then school started and you picked up takeout four nights in one week. Wellness culture might describe that as falling off track. But perhaps takeout was actually the most intelligent response to the conditions of that particular week.

Responsiveness Vs. Consistency

This is where I wonder whether responsiveness might be more useful than consistency.

What if health isn’t primarily about maintaining the same behaviors, but about responding to what is here?

Sometimes the responsive choice is a run. Sometimes it’s walking for twenty minutes instead of running for an hour. Sometimes it’s sleep. Sometimes dinner is homemade salmon and vegetables. Sometimes it’s Chipotle.

The ability to adjust may be a more valuable skill than the ability to remain consistent.

Of course, our habits and choices matter. But consistency can subtly carry the promise that if we establish the right routines and stick with them, we can produce the outcomes we want. Bodies and lives don’t always cooperate with that equation. Aging, hormones, genetics, injury, illness, relationships, schedules, and plain randomness don’t necessarily follow our plans.

Maybe what we’re actually looking for is not consistency, but rhythm.

Perhaps, Rhythm?

Rhythm allows for a change in tempo. It can pause and begin again. It can respond to different seasons. There can be an underlying pattern without demanding uninterrupted continuation.

Movement might be part of someone’s life for twenty years. But within those twenty years, there may be months of running, periods of walking, weeks of doing almost nothing, stretches of strength training, vacations, pregnancies, injuries, caregiving, enthusiasm, and boredom.

Zoom out far enough and there may be a kind of continuity. But it probably doesn’t look anything like the wellness-calendar version of consistency.

And perhaps returning is more interesting than consistency, too.

Instead of saying:

I haven’t worked out in three weeks. I’ve become so inconsistent.

What if it were simply:

I feel like moving today.

There is no debt to the previous three weeks. Nothing to compensate for. No identity to restore or streak to resurrect. There is simply an opportunity to respond to what feels supportive now.

So perhaps the question isn’t:

How can I stay consistent when life gets busy?

Maybe it’s simply:

What makes sense now?

And now is forever anew.

Menu for the Week of August 31-September 4th

Monday

Vegan Jambalaya

Tuesday

Veggie Packed Meat Sauce

Wednesday

Southwest Chicken Skillet

Thursday

Fish Taco Bowl

Friday

No Bake Vanilla Cake Bites

In loving memory of Dolly Parton, Happy Fall, Y’all!

Partly because I didn’t have to make it for anyone else.

The entire meal could be centered around exactly what I wanted to eat. Of course I eat foods I enjoy at home, too, but there was a different kind of permission when there was absolutely no one else to consider. I would make my dinner, sit outside, and have a little dessert afterward.

And then sometimes, when it was over, I would notice this small feeling of disappointment.

Oh. That’s over.

There was nothing particularly wrong. I wasn’t still hungry. I had enjoyed the meal.

I just wasn’t quite ready for that part of the day to be finished.

I was talking about this recently with a client, an older woman who lives alone. She was telling me that she often continues eating in the evening even when she doesn’t feel physically hungry. And, like so many people, she had interpreted this as something she should probably get better at controlling.

But as we talked, we landed somewhere else: What if sometimes she just doesn’t want the day to be over?

There was an immediate recognition.

Yes. That’s it.

Read more

A quick retreat update: I’ve lowered the cost of the September 10–13 Silent Retreat to $999 and added a beautiful sound bath experience with a new practitioner. We’ll also have forest bathing, mindful movement, and nourishing Mediterranean-inspired meals prepared by our cook, who is also a therapist and will be present throughout the retreat. There will be plenty of time in nature and- most importantly- lots of spacious silence, with opportunities to talk ;) about how the experience is unfolding. A few spots remain, and registration closes September 1.

It’s back-to-school time, and a conversation I’ve been having with many of my clients, especially my student athletes, is how to make the transition from summer to school while continuing to eat enough to support mental and physical performance.

Because school presents a lot of barriers to eating enough.

Kids need fuel to think in school and to perform at practice afterward or maybe even at an early-morning practice. And this certainly doesn’t just apply to athletes. Kids are growing. They’re learning. Their brains and bodies require a lot of energy, and we all know hungry bellies don’t make it any easier to pay attention.

The problem is that the school day isn’t particularly well designed for eating.

Kids may not be allowed to eat in the classroom, or they simply don’t feel comfortable doing it. Who wants to be the one eating some loud, crunchy snack while everyone else is either A) wishing they had the same thing or B) annoyed by the mouth noises?

It’s always easier to eat when everyone else is eating.

Then there’s lunch. Kids might get 20–30 minutes, and that’s assuming they brought lunch and have that entire time available. Add a cafeteria line, socializing and the desire to actually spend time with friends, and the eating window gets even smaller.

Rather than being unrealistic about when a kid might be able to eat during the school day, I like to focus on making the most of the opportunities they do have. I think of these as fuel opportunities.

Fuel Opportunity #1: Breakfast

I often remind my athletes that you can train your stomach just like you train your muscles and heart for performance: whether your performance is cross-country, lacrosse, soccer, theater or chess.

If you don’t eat much in the morning now, you don’t have to suddenly start eating a huge breakfast tomorrow. With time, your stomach can become more comfortable tolerating more food earlier in the day.

This can be especially helpful at the beginning of the school year or during periods of higher stress, when nausea can be a real barrier. Sometimes a kid simply isn’t going to sit down and be able to stomach a big bowl of oatmeal at 6:30 in the morning.

So we work with what feels doable.

Quick breakfasts for kids who aren’t very hungry:

• Smoothie packs: milk + frozen fruit + banana + Greek yogurt + peanut or sunflower seed butter + oats (make ahead of time, freeze, add to blender with milk of choice, blend)

  

• Muffin breakfast: muffin + peanut butter + banana + drinkable yogurt (love these blender muffins that come together in minutes…)

  

• Bagel egg sandwich: pre-made egg bites or sheet-pan eggs tucked into a bagel + chocolate milk

• Toast to go: peanut butter toast + banana + drinkable yogurt or milk

• Waffle sandwich: two frozen (can buy the higher protein ones, like Kodiak) waffles with peanut or sunflower seed butter + fruit

• Cereal that counts: a generous bowl of cereal with milk + banana + nuts or a side of yogurt

And yes, drinking breakfast in the car still counts.

Breakfast is a huge fuel opportunity. We’ve gone all night without taking in energy, and now we’re asking the brain to learn for several hours, and for some kids, asking the body to train later that day.

If “this will help you concentrate in algebra” isn’t particularly motivating to your teenager, perhaps “this might help your legs feel better at practice” will be. :)

Fuel Opportunity #2: The Stealth School Snack

For kids who have a late lunch, even a small snack between classes can make a difference.

Of course, this depends on school rules. But if they’re able to eat something quickly at their locker or between classes, we’re not necessarily looking for a full snack. Sometimes 100–200 calories is enough to take the edge off and bridge the gap until lunch.

Think small, quiet and easy:

• Mini Larabar or KIND bar

• Applesauce pouch

• Soft granola or fig bar

• Small packet of dried fruit

• A few energy bites

• Banana

The goal isn’t to replace lunch. It’s simply to prevent arriving at lunch absolutely ravenous; especially when lunch itself may be rushed.

Fuel Opportunity #3: Right After School

This is one of my favorites.

When I pick my son up after high school, I love seeing kids come out of the building already eating. Instead of immediately pulling out their phones, they’re pulling snacks out of their backpacks before cross-country practice.

I want to hand them gold stars out my window, but my freshman would absolutely die, so I restrain myself.

If practice starts shortly after school, this isn’t necessarily the time for a giant snack. We want easy-to-digest carbohydrate, with the amount depending largely on how much time they have before activity.

And this is where I think we’ve gotten a little confused by the cultural obsession with protein. Yes, growing kids and athletes need protein.

But right before practice, carbohydrate is the priority.

A beef stick, mozzarella stick or low-carbohydrate protein bar might contain plenty of protein, but it isn’t providing much quick fuel for working muscles. Closer to activity, think mostly carbohydrate, with smaller amounts of protein and fat depending on tolerance and how much time they have.

If practice is about 30 minutes away:

• Banana + sports drink

• Fig bars

• Applesauce pouch + pretzels

• Animal crackers

• Goldfish crackers

• Graham crackers + banana

If practice is 1–2 hours away:

• Half or whole PB&J + fruit

• Banana + nut butter packet

• Pretzel peanut butter bites + fruit

• CLIF Bar + water or sports drink

• Bagel with peanut or sunflower seed butter

• Granola + drinkable yogurt

And yes, sports drinks can absolutely have a place here, particularly during hot-weather practices.

They provide carbohydrate, sodium and fluid at the same time. Not every kid needs one for every practice, but they aren’t something we need to fear, either. Sometimes sugar is doing exactly the job we want it to do: providing quickly available energy for a body that’s about to work.

If practice isn’t until later in the evening, think bigger.

A 6:30 or 7:00 p.m. practice may actually create an opportunity for an early dinner:

• Rice bowl with chicken or tofu, vegetables and sauce

• Pasta with marinara, meatballs or lentils + fruit

• Bean and cheese burrito + rice + fruit

• Turkey or hummus sandwich + soup + fruit

• Quesadilla + beans + fruit

Then after practice, something simple like chocolate milk + cereal, yogurt and granola, a smoothie or toast with peanut butter can help finish out the day. Or yes, ice cream.

Make It an Experiment

The key to all of this is thinking ahead a little, having these conversations with our kids and figuring out what actually motivates them.

Maybe they don’t care about “optimal sports nutrition.”

Fair enough.

But do they care about not being starving during sixth period? Having more energy at practice? Not getting a headache after school? Not feeling like their legs are dead halfway through practice?

Instead of telling kids what they should eat, I love presenting fueling as an experiment.

Try something - not just once, but a few times- and pay attention.

How do your legs feel?
Athletes sometimes describe being underfueled on carbohydrate as having “dead legs.” Does eating more beforehand change that?

How does your brain feel?
Do you feel sharper in those last few classes when you’ve had something to eat?

How do you feel after practice?
Do you come home hungry, but not completely depleted?

Helping kids notice these connections gives them something much more useful than another nutrition rule.

It teaches them how to pay attention to their own bodies.

And again, this isn’t just for athletes.

All kids deserve enough fuel to learn, grow, move and feel good throughout their day.

Here’s to finding a few more fuel opportunities, and wishing all of our kids a wonderful start to the school year.

Menu for the Week of August 24-28th

Monday

Ginger Chicken Peanut Noodles

Tuesday

Turkey Picadillo

Wednesday

Coconut Curry Shrimp Ramen Bowl

Thursday

Chia Banana Energy Bites

Friday

Peanut Butter Strawberry Banana Smoothie

Happy fueling, friends! XO Jen

A quick retreat update: I’ve lowered the cost of the September 10–13 Silent Retreat to $999 and added a beautiful sound bath experience with a new practitioner. We’ll also have forest bathing, mindful movement, and nourishing Mediterranean-inspired meals prepared by our cook, who is also a therapist and will be present throughout the retreat. There will be plenty of time in nature and- most importantly- lots of spacious silence, with opportunities to talk ;) about how the experience is unfolding. A few spots remain, and registration closes September 1.

Our family came to the decision to try medication for ADHD for one of my kiddos.

This decision has not come lightly.

I have heard many wonderful stories about how helpful these medications can be for kids with ADHD. But I’m also making this decision from the outside. I don’t actually know what it feels like to have ADHD.

I am certainly someone who can focus with pretty good intention. I experience the scattered attention that seems to come with becoming a mother: lots of voices demanding different things at different times; combined with the culture we’re all swimming in, constantly pulling our attention in a million directions…

But that isn’t ADHD. And I don’t know what it is like to live in my son’s body. I don’t know what school feels like through his eyes. I don’t know how hard he is working to direct his attention or filter out everything competing for it.

And that matters.

One of the reasons we ultimately came to this decision, in collaboration with his doctor and his dyslexia tutor, is that school is getting a little more demanding, and middle school isn’t too far away. It seemed like there might be value in trying this before another layer of academic and organizational demands falls upon him.

I also appreciate that ADHD medications don’t have to represent some enormous forever-decision. We can try something, pay attention, work with his doctor, and decide whether it is helping.

But how do you know if it’s helping?

Before starting, we talked with his doctor about some of the things we should pay attention to.

How hungry is he?

Does he feel focused?

Does he feel like himself?

Is he more irritable as the medication wears off?

Does he feel tired or wired at bedtime?

These sound like relatively simple questions. And I trust that my son knows his own body better than anyone else. I just wanted to give him a simple way to pause and notice what he was experiencing and give us a way to look at those experiences together over time.

So I started thinking about how we could make some of this a little easier to notice.

Not just for me. For him.

I created a simple check-in sheet that we’re going to use for a few days before he starts medication and then continue once he begins. My hope is that having something visual will help us see patterns that might otherwise get lost in casual conversations or in my own recollection of how the day went.

Because memory is messy.

“I don’t think you ate much today.”

“You seemed really irritable after school.”

“Were you hungry at lunch yesterday?”

Those observations might be useful, but they’re also filtered through me.

I’d rather give him some language and a little practice noticing for himself.

Read more

It was with a new mama who had spent much of the past year doing what new moms do: caring for someone else. Between breastfeeding, disrupted schedules, and the sheer energy required to care for a baby, she had unintentionally lost more weight than she preferred. Part of our work together was figuring out how to replenish her own needs while this 20-pounder of joy required so much of her.

As we talked through her typical day, she mentioned that she was pretty good at planning dinner for her husband and kiddos.

But the rest of the day? That was where she felt more scrambled…grabbing whatever was available, eating nibbles off someone else’s plate, or even skipping a meal altogether.

It made me realize how common this is: we put most of our meal-planning energy into the question, What’s for dinner? and then fly by the seat of our pants for the other 2–4 meals and snacks we might eat throughout the day.

What would I actually like and look forward to eating?

And I can say from experience: it is so nice not to have to answer that question in the heat of the hunger moment.

Feeding ourselves is necessary, of course. But it can also be a moment in the day we genuinely look forward to…maybe even a chance to slow down and enjoy something.

That might look like making a smoothie with ingredients I really love and a protein powder that’s a little pricier but that I genuinely like. It might be a oat muffin slathered with almond butter and a banana, or homemade granola that makes breakfast something I actually look forward to.

Lunch might be a hearty Mediterranean quinoa salad that gets even better after a day in the refrigerator. Or a bowl with rice, roasted vegetables, and canned beans tossed in a flavorful sauce.

The meals don’t have to be fancy, but they might include one thoughtful ingredient that makes them feel a little more special. I picked up some flavored olive oils and vinegars on my trip to Washington State this summer, and I love using them in my meals. A drizzle of an olive oil I love can turn a pretty basic bowl into something I’m genuinely excited to eat.

Summer to School Season

As the school year starts again and calendars begin filling up (even more), maybe meal planning doesn’t have to mean adding another layer of work to our lives. Maybe it’s simply about widening the lens a little.

If you’re already sitting down to think about what everyone will eat for dinner this week, take another minute and ask:

What would make breakfast feel good this week?

What lunch would I genuinely look forward to eating a few days in a row?

What are a couple of snacks I could have around that I actually enjoy?

We spend an awful lot of time making sure the people we love have something good to eat.

There’s nothing wrong with putting ourselves into the meal plan, too.

Menu for the Week of August 17-21

I thought I’d share a few lunch ideas for this week’s menu, plus one breakfast/snack option.

Happy back-to-school to those of you heading back, and for those still holding onto summer, there are a few summer-inspired recipe ideas for you, too! ☀️

Monday

White Bean Balsamic Pasta Salad

Tuesday

Greek Yogurt Chicken Salad

Wednesday

Lemon-Chili Shrimp Quinoa Bowls

Thursday

Turkey & Hummus Wrap

Friday

Banana Almond Butter Muffins

XO Jen

I remember working really hard on it. And I also remember my mom working pretty hard on it too. ;)

We collaborated. I understood everything that was in the paper, and I actually loved the process of learning and writing it alongside her.

When I got the paper back, though, there was a note from my teacher at the top in red pen. I can’t remember the exact words anymore, but it was something along the lines of:

This isn’t your work. Your mom must have helped you.

I remember feeling embarrassed. I also remember my mom being pretty irritated.

Looking back, I can understand my teacher’s skepticism. If that paper looked significantly different from the rest of my third-grade work, she probably wanted to make sure I was actually doing my own work.

I’ve been thinking about that acid rain paper lately because of the conversations happening around AI and writing.

So I thought I would tell you exactly how things get written here at Here & Human Wellness.

As I’m writing this, the sun is starting to come up. It’s 5:45 a.m., and I’m walking.

For whatever reason, walking seems to open up my brain. It’s where nearly everything I write begins. In fact, I don’t think I’ve written much of anything for this Substack sitting at a desk. Apparently I need an open sky, crickets chirping, trees swaying in the morning breeze, and somewhere to walk in order to think.

So I walk and write. Sometimes I type into my Notes app. Sometimes I talk into my phone. I get the story, the ideas, the questions, and what I’m trying to say out of my head.

And then I bring it to AI.

I have a ChatGPT space specifically for Here & Human Wellness, and that’s where the second part of my writing process happens. I upload what I’ve written, and then ChatGPT and I work on it together.

We smooth things out. Move things around. Notice where something isn’t quite tracking. I might ask whether a section is necessary or whether I’m repeating myself. Sometimes it suggests language and I say, Nope, I would never say that. Sometimes it helps me find a clearer way to say something I’ve been circling around for three paragraphs.

And I go back and forth with it, often for a couple of hours spread throughout the week, until the piece feels right.

That last part matters.

I’m pretty protective of what and how thing are said. I don’t want AI deciding what I think, putting words in my mouth, or turning something personal into something polished or generic. I want the stories, observations, questions, and conclusions here to actually be what came from here.

This process reminds me of that acid rain paper. The process with my mom was collaborative. The difference is that now I’m 48; my mom isn’t sitting next to me helping clean up my sentences. :)

Before AI, I wrote blogs as a faculty member at Saint Louis University and later for my nutrition practice. I did essentially the same process: write, reread, rearrange, rewrite, cut, reread again…but it took me significantly longer.

AI has shortened that part of the process tremendously.

And that matters because most of what I write here is free. Yes, there is a $5/month paid option for this Substack, which I deeply appreciate, but it certainly doesn’t cover the hours that go into writing these pieces.

AI has made it possible for me to take something I think about on a morning walk and turn it into something I can actually share. And doing that in a timely fashion helps it feel alive and relevant.

So I wanted to be transparent about that.

The experiences, ideas and questions are mine. The first messy collection of words is mine. The final decision about every word you read is mine.

And AI is part of the editing room.

Maybe that’s something we writers need to talk about, not simply whether AI was involved, but how it was involved.

Because there’s a pretty big difference between asking a machine to write something for you and using a tool to help you more clearly express something you already wanted to say.

I learned something about that distinction in third grade.

Although, to be fair, my acid rain paper probably was suspiciously good.

Sorry, Mrs. Riveria. My mom definitely helped! ;)

When my middle son saw it sitting on my bed, he couldn’t resist.

“Mom… aren’t those for old people?”

I’ve reached the stage of life where sleeping slightly propped up has become something I do, sometimes. Now to sleep I apparently need my Ozlo sleep buds (AMAZING), mouth tape (I hate dry mouth), my Nod Pod for my eyes, and yes a wedge pillow.

Like many women in perimenopause, I’ve noticed a handful of symptoms that aren’t dramatic enough to feel like a medical crisis, but noticeable enough to affect how I feel. For me, one of those has been what I can only describe as a “sour stomach” that seems to show up more often around the luteal phase of my cycle. Sometimes it’s a little reflux. Sometimes it’s just enough discomfort that lying flat isn’t particularly enjoyable.

The wedge pillow has helped.

Around the same time, a friend mentioned she’d been hearing about women taking Pepcid (famotidine) and Zyrtec (cetirizine) together to help with symptoms like hot flashes, poor sleep, brain fog, and reflux during perimenopause.

Curious, I started researching to see:

What does the evidence say?

Although research in women’s health continues to grow, especially in this area, many of the questions we ask simply haven’t been studied very well (or at all).

That leaves us in an interesting place when we hear about something from a friend, a podcast, or social media that sounds intriguing. Sometimes those ideas fade away once they’re studied. Other times they eventually become part of mainstream care.

Conversations are an invitation to ask good questions, understand the biology, look at the evidence we do have, and have thoughtful conversations with our healthcare team.

Why does perimenopause seem to affect so much more than our periods?

One of the biggest surprises for many women is realizing that perimenopause isn’t just about hot flashes or irregular cycles.

Estrogen receptors are found throughout the body: including the brain, blood vessels, bones, bladder, skin, and digestive tract. As estrogen and progesterone begin fluctuating rather than following their previous predictable rhythm, many women notice changes that extend well beyond their reproductive system.

The digestive system is one of those places.

Some women experience more bloating, nausea, constipation, diarrhea, or reflux during certain phases of their cycle or throughout the menopause transition. Researchers believe several factors may contribute, including changes in how quickly the stomach empties, the function of the lower esophageal sphincter (the muscle that helps keep stomach contents where they belong), increased sensitivity of the digestive tract, and the interaction between fluctuating hormones and histamine.

Which brings us to the Pepcid and Zyrtec conversation.

Why are people talking about histamine?

Histamine is probably best known for its role in allergies, but it does much more than make us sneeze in the spring.

It also helps regulate stomach acid production, plays a role in wakefulness, and interacts with estrogen in ways researchers are still trying to understand.

Pepcid and Zyrtec actually work on two different histamine receptors.

• Zyrtec blocks H1 receptors, which are involved primarily in allergy symptoms.

• Pepcid blocks H2 receptors, which reduce stomach acid production.

Researchers also know that estrogen can stimulate mast cells: the immune cells that release histamine. During perimenopause, when estrogen levels fluctuate rather than following a predictable monthly pattern, it’s possible that histamine signaling changes as well.

This has led researchers to wonder whether histamine could contribute to symptoms like flushing, headaches, sleep disruption, allergies, or perhaps even reflux in some women.

Biologically, it’s an interesting hypothesis.

Here’s what we know & what we don’t

As interesting as the biology is, we don’t yet have good clinical studies showing that taking Pepcid and Zyrtec improves hot flashes, brain fog, poor sleep, or other symptoms of perimenopause.

That doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t help. It means we simply don’t know yet.

Sometimes biology predicts what later research confirms.

Other times it doesn’t.

That’s why it’s important to separate “this makes biological sense” from “this has been shown to work.”

Building a nighttime toolkit

If your nights have become a little more difficult, medications aren’t the only tools we have.

Sometimes the simplest strategies can make a meaningful difference.

For nighttime reflux or that “sour stomach” feeling, that might include:

• Sleeping with the head of the bed elevated (my wedge pillow has officially earned its place.)

• Avoiding large meals within a couple of hours of bedtime.

• Paying attention to whether alcohol seems to make symptoms worse.

• Noticing whether specific foods are triggers.

• Giving yourself a little time upright after dinner before lying down.

None of these are glamorous. But they’re supported by evidence, carry very little risk, and for some people they may be enough.

Where do over-the-counter medications fit?

If symptoms continue despite lifestyle changes, over-the-counter medications may be reasonable options to discuss with your physician.

Here’s a quick overview of the ones I found myself looking into.

Tums (calcium carbonate)

May be helpful for:

• Occasional heartburn or reflux

• Quick relief (often within minutes)

• Neutralizing acid that’s already in the stomach

Things to know:

• Doesn’t prevent your stomach from making more acid

• Can be constipating for some people

• If you’re relying on it frequently, it’s worth talking with your healthcare provider about why

Pepcid (famotidine)

May be helpful for:

• Intermittent reflux

• Nighttime acid symptoms

• Reducing stomach acid production for several hours

Things to know:

• Generally has a reassuring safety profile when used appropriately.

• Unlike stronger acid suppressors called proton pump inhibitors (PPIs), Pepcid doesn’t appear to carry the same degree of concern regarding long-term nutrient absorption or certain other long-term risks.

• It still isn’t intended to be a forever solution without discussing persistent symptoms with your physician.

• People with significant kidney disease may require dose adjustments.

Zyrtec (cetirizine)

May be helpful for:

• Seasonal allergies or hives

• Women whose physicians feel a short histamine trial is reasonable

Things to know:

• We don’t yet have good evidence that it improves menopause symptoms.

• Some people feel sleepy taking it, while others notice a little grogginess the following morning.

• If it helps sleep, it may be because it’s improving another symptom rather than acting as a sleep medication itself.

When is it time to check in with your physician?

While occasional reflux is common, there are times when it’s important not to simply keep experimenting on your own.

Talk with your healthcare provider if you have:

• Reflux occurring more than twice a week for several weeks.

• Symptoms that continue despite treatment.

• Difficulty swallowing.

• Unexplained weight loss.

• Vomiting blood or black stools.

• Chest pain.

• Nighttime symptoms that repeatedly wake you from sleep.

These symptoms deserve a closer look.

So…where do Pepcid and Zyrtec fit?

For me, this combination falls into the category of interesting but not yet well studied.

Both medications have long safety records when used appropriately, and for some women, a physician may feel a short trial is reasonable.

But I also think it’s important not to expect any medication to compensate for habits we already know contribute to symptoms. If alcohol, large evening meals, or other triggers are playing a significant role, addressing those factors is likely to have a much bigger impact than adding a pill.

The goal isn’t simply to collect remedies. It’s to understand what’s driving the symptoms in the first place.

My takeaway

I found myself looking into Pepcid and Zyrtec because I wasn’t looking for another medication, I was looking for another tool.

What I came away with was this:

The biology is interesting.

The evidence isn’t there yet.

The medications themselves have fairly reassuring safety profiles when used appropriately.

And perhaps most importantly, it’s worth asking whether there’s something contributing to your symptoms before assuming another pill is the answer.

Perimenopause seems to turn many of us into detectives.

We notice new symptoms.

We hear about new ideas.

We wonder whether they’re worth trying.

Sometimes the answer is surprisingly simple, like sleeping on a wedge pillow.

Sometimes it’s a conversation with your physician about whether an over-the-counter medication is worth a short trial.

And sometimes it’s simply recognizing that quality of life matters. We don’t have to wait until symptoms become debilitating before looking for ways to feel better.

It’s important to stay curious, to advocate for ourselves, and to SLEEP!

Menu for the Week of August 10-14th

Monday

Crispy Tofu Bowls with Carrot Ginger Dressing

Tuesday

Seared Tuna with Soba Noodles & Sesame Roasted Broccoli

Wednesday

Instant Pot Pulled Pork

Thursday

Shrimp & Creamed Corn

Friday

Mango Turmeric Ginger Smoothie

Well, summer is officially over for one of my kids... ☀️📚

Happy summer (for those still soaking it up!) and happy back-to-school to everyone beginning a new year.

XO,
Jen

But RV life?

For some reason, it has never called to me. There’s just...so much stuff.

So much troubleshooting. So many buttons. So many compartments.

So many systems that everyone else seems to instinctively understand.

Water systems. Sewer systems. Electrical systems. Propane systems.

Pumps. Hookups. Hoses.

It felt like every ten minutes I asked him, “Is it working yet?”

And maybe most of all, when I go into the wilderness, I like the feeling of being alone with it. There’s something about being tucked into an RV park where everyone can watch your husband pull into the parking spot…back up…pull forward…back up again…that doesn’t exactly match the image I have in my head of peaceful nature.

We watched this clip after he finally got the RV parked. It was laughter therapy after the stressful moment. :)

As the weekend unfolded, I found myself riding quite the emotional roller coaster.

Read more

Right now, one topic seems to come up more than almost anything else:

Muscle.

Women of all ages, from their twenties through their seventies, are asking questions like:

• Am I eating enough protein?

• Should I be taking creatine?

• Am I lifting heavy enough?

• Is it too late to build muscle?

  

I appreciate how much this conversation has evolved. Eight or ten years ago, body composition discussions mostly centered on becoming smaller. Today, more women are curious about becoming stronger, supporting their healthspan, and aging well.

At the same time, it is hard not to notice the subtle pressure woven into this wellness culture. The sense that there is always more we should be doing.

More muscle we should be building. More protein we should be eating.

This feels especially true for women in midlife. Preserving muscle has become one of the central health messages of perimenopause.

As I listened to clients, and felt some of that pressure myself, I wondered:

How much muscle does a woman really need to live well?

What is clear: muscle matters

The evidence is quite consistent on one point: having too little muscle, strength, and physical function is associated with poorer health outcomes.

When researchers talk about sarcopenia, they are not referring to the normal changes that happen with age or wishing your arms looked more toned.

Sarcopenia is a clinical condition characterized by a meaningful loss of muscle strength and physical function, often accompanied by low muscle mass. It is associated with frailty, falls, disability, hospitalization, loss of independence, and earlier mortality.

A large 2023 systematic review and meta-analysis pooled 49 prospective studies involving more than 878,000 adults. Across several definitions of muscle wasting, people with low muscle mass, sarcopenia, and related conditions had a higher risk of death from any cause.

That is a compelling reason to care about preserving muscle as we age.

The research gives us a fairly clear floor.

• Becoming weak matters.

• Losing physical function matters.

• Losing the ability to move through daily life independently matters.

But more muscle isn’t always better. And that’s where this question gets interesting.

The research gives us a floor, not a ceiling

One of the more interesting findings in this area of research is that muscle function appears to matter more than muscle quantity alone.

Several large studies have found that measures such as grip strength, walking speed, and lower-body function are often stronger predictors of longevity than the amount of muscle a person carries.

In other words, how well your body works may matter more than how much lean tissue it contains.

That does not mean muscle mass is irrelevant. Muscle provides the foundation for strength and movement. But simply possessing more lean tissue is not necessarily the same as being stronger, moving better, or becoming more physically capable.

Research on resistance training points in a similar direction.

Resistance training can improve strength, balance, walking ability, coordination, and physical performance even when the increase in measured muscle mass is modest.

That may be one of the most reassuring findings in this entire conversation.

The work is not wasted simply because our muscles do not become dramatically larger.

Our bodies can still become stronger.

More coordinated.

More stable.

More capable of producing force, carrying weight, recovering from a misstep, or sustaining a demanding activity.

The research gives us important guidance, but it doesn’t give us a target.

It tells us that very low muscle mass, poor strength, and impaired physical function are associated with worse health outcomes.

It tells us that resistance training improves strength, physical function, and quality of life.

It tells us that strength matters.

But it does not tell us how much muscle every woman should be trying to build.

There is no scientifically established amount of muscle that guarantees a longer or healthier life.

It gives us a floor. It does not give us a clear ceiling.

Resistance training remains one of the best tools we have for preserving strength, bone health, physical function, and independence as we age, and I’ll happily continue lifting weights for as long as it feels good in my body.

So, in short, enough muscle for what?

Maybe the question is not: How much muscle should I have?

Maybe it is: What do I want my body to help me keep doing?

• Do you want to run marathons?

• Get your luggage in the overhead bin?

• Lift heavy bags of soil without waiting for someone else to help?

• Get down on the floor and back up again with kids?

• Go on long adventurous hikes, climbing and scrambling?

The physical abilities that matter most to you will naturally shape how you train.

For one person, maintaining health and independence may be the primary goal.

For another, the goal may be performance, competition, adventure, confidence, or the simple joy of seeing what her body can do.

All of those goals are legitimate. But they are not interchangeable, and they may not require the same amount of muscle, training time, or sacrifice.

More than one way to age well

I think about my grandmother. She lived to be 101 and traveled (internationally) well into her nineties. She wasn't tracking macros or trying to hit a protein target at breakfast.

Sweet (and Spicy) Gramma Sept 2011

Today’s science has taught us a great deal about preserving muscle through resistance training and adequate protein intake. Those are valuable advances.

But my grandmother also reminds me that living well has never depended on optimizing a single health metric.

What do you want strength to support?

I set out looking for an answer to a simple question:

How much muscle should every woman have to live a long, healthy life?

What I found was that there doesn’t appear to be a scientifically established answer.

Instead, the research gave us something else.

It gave us a floor. Not a ceiling.

Maybe the better question is:

What do you want your body to help you keep doing?

• What kind of movement brings you joy?

• What physical abilities matter most to your independence?

• What would you still love to be able to say yes to at 70, 80, or 90?

Maybe healthy aging is not about maximizing one variable.

Maybe it is about building enough strength, resilience, connection, curiosity, and joy that life keeps getting bigger, not smaller.

Not enough muscle to impress someone else.

Enough to keep living the life that matters to you.

Menu for the Week of August 3-7th

Monday

Walnut Burgers

Tuesday

Air Fryer Greek Chicken

Wednesday

Tomato, Peach & Burrata Salad

Thursday

Summer Peach Pork Chops

Friday

Pecan Pie Energy Bites

XO - Jen

July 30, 2026
Love You More
Ep 85: That was Interesting!

Episode summary:

Sometimes the lessons we need don't arrive the way we expect them to. In this episode, Jen shares the surprising story of accidentally being served an alcoholic beer after more than three and a half years without alcohol. What could have become a source of guilt or fear instead became an opportunity for curiosity, reflection, and a deeper understanding of how she's changed.

Together, we explore what happens when we let go of all or nothing thinking, trust our own experiences instead of rigid labels, and allow ourselves to evolve. Jen also shares updates on her writing, the changes to Here in Human Wellness, and why creating space, both in silence and in everyday life, can reveal what truly matters.

Favorite Quotes:

"It was really a total non-issue. It was just interesting. That's all I can say. It was interesting."

"When you go into something in this curious space where there's kind of not a wrong or a right, there's just a, 'I wonder what's going to happen.'"

"I'm also grateful for the time of having that alcohol-free phase of season of life."

"When things come naturally and somewhat easily, that seems to be the reminder here that that's the direction to continue on."

"There's something really lovely with being with others and not feeling like you have to fill space."

Resources 

Jen's Instagram
Jen's Substack
McDaniel Nutrition Therapy Instagram
McDaniel Nutrition Therapy Website
Past Podcast Episodes
2026 Silent Retreat 

Support the show

What happened here was different, so I'm simply sharing what unfolded for me, recognizing it won't apply to everyone.

My relationship with alcohol has evolved quite a bit over the past three and a half years. Early on, there was an adjustment as I learned to live without it. Over time, not drinking stopped feeling like something I had to work on and eased into how I did life.

Over the past six months, though, I noticed something I hadn't expected. The label I’d worn for three and a half years no longer felt particularly important. There wasn’t a pull toward alcohol. There was simply a growing sense that I didn’t need to keep saying “no” simply because I’d been saying “no.”

Every now and then, a quiet curiosity would drift through:

I wonder what it might be like to have a glass of wine with girlfriends again

What would it be like to have a cocktail with my husband on a date night.

There wasn’t a plan to drink, nor was there an effort to protect an identity that no longer seemed necessary. It simply felt as though the all-or-nothing relationship I’d once had with alcohol had softened, making room for the possibility that life might unfold differently one day…or it might not. Either way felt okay.

A few nights ago, my husband and I went out for dinner. We hadn’t seen each other in about ten days after overlapping trips, and with all three boys away at camp, we finally had an evening to catch up.

Read more

Scroll for a few minutes and you’ll hear one person claiming chia seeds can “cleanse” your digestive system. (Side note: clean food is one of my biggest nutrition pet peeves.) Then another creator warns that seeds are inflammatory. Another says to avoid flaxseed because it contains phytoestrogens.

It’s remarkable how much controversy we’ve managed to create around a handful of seeds.

The truth? Seeds aren’t magic, and they aren’t something to fear. They’re simply foods, each with its own unique nutritional strengths that can contribute to an overall healthy eating pattern.

Let’s separate a few myths from what the research actually tells us:

Myth #1: Chia seeds detox your body.

One of the biggest gut health trends online is what’s often called the “internal shower.” A mixture of chia seeds, water, and lemon juice is promoted as a way to cleanse your gut and flush toxins from your body.

I understand why this idea is appealing.

Research continues to show that our gut influences many aspects of health: from cholesterol and blood sugar to immune function and even certain aspects of mental well-being. It’s tempting to believe that if the gut is this important, one drink might somehow “reset” everything.

But our bodies don’t need detox drinks.

Your liver, kidneys, lungs, skin, and digestive system are already working around the clock to process and eliminate waste products.

What chia seeds do offer is something much less flashy and much more supported by research.

Just two tablespoons provide about 10 grams of fiber, including soluble fiber that absorbs water and forms a gel-like texture, helping soften stool, and insoluble fiber that adds bulk and helps move food through the digestive tract.

So if you’ve found that chia seeds help you stay regular, that doesn’t mean they’re washing toxins out of your body.

It probably means you’re consistently eating more fiber and drinking more water.

That’s not a gimmick, it’s physiology.

And here’s the best part! You don’t have to force yourself to drink a glass of gelatinous chia water if you don’t enjoy it. Sprinkle them into yogurt, oatmeal, smoothies, soups, or bake them into muffins. The power of seeds isn't in a cleanse or a cure. It's in consistently making them one small part of an overall healthy eating pattern.

Myth #2: Seed oils are harmful to your health.

Few nutrition topics have generated as much confusion as seed oils.

Social media often blames them for everything from inflammation to heart disease. But when researchers look at the totality of the evidence, they find the opposite. Replacing saturated fats (like butter) with unsaturated fats, including many seed oils, is associated with improved heart health and lower LDL cholesterol.

Like all cooking oils, seed oils can break down when they’re repeatedly heated to very high temperatures, such as in commercial deep fryers where the same oil is used over and over again. That’s a very different situation than using an appropriate oil for everyday home cooking.

For most people, the evidence supports including seed oils as part of an overall heart-healthy eating pattern, not avoiding them.

Bottom line: The science doesn’t support fearing seed oils. In fact, they can be part of a healthy dietary pattern.

Myth #3: Flaxseed is dangerous because of phytoestrogens.

“Should I avoid flaxseed because it contains estrogen?”

No. Flaxseed contains compounds called lignans, which belong to a broader group of plant compounds known as phytoestrogens.

The name can be misleading because it contains the word estrogen. But phytoestrogens aren’t the same as the estrogen your body produces.

Instead, they’re plant compounds that interact only weakly with estrogen receptors. Depending on what’s happening in the body, they may have mild estrogen-like effects in some tissues and anti-estrogen effects in others. In other words, they don’t simply “increase estrogen.”

Researchers have studied flaxseed and lignans for decades for their potential effects on heart health, breast health, and menopause. While soy has the strongest evidence for easing menopausal hot flashes, the overall body of research suggests that phytoestrogen-rich foods like flaxseed are safe for most people and may even offer health benefits.

So, rather than fearing flaxseed because it contains phytoestrogens, think of it for what it is: a nutritious seed rich in fiber, plant omega-3 fats, and lignans that can be part of a healthy eating pattern.

Bottom line: The presence of phytoestrogens isn’t a reason to avoid flaxseed. If anything, it’s one of the reasons researchers continue to study it for its potential health benefits.

What These Five Seeds Bring to the Table

People often ask me: “Which seed is the healthiest?”

My answer a mix! They all bring something to the table. :)

Hemp Hearts: The Protein Powerhouse

If protein is your goal, hemp hearts stand out.

Among these five seeds, they provide the most protein and are one of the few plant foods considered a complete protein, meaning they contain all nine essential amino acids.

They also have a soft texture and mild flavor, making them one of the easiest seeds to sprinkle onto yogurt, oatmeal, roasted vegetables, grain bowls, or salads.

Ground Flaxseed: The Omega-3 Champion

Flaxseed is one of the richest plant sources of alpha-linolenic acid (ALA), an omega-3 fat.

It’s also packed with fiber and contains those unique lignans we just talked about: plant compounds that continue to be widely studied for their potential health benefits.

One tip: choose ground flaxseed whenever possible. Our bodies absorb its nutrients much better than whole flaxseed, which often passes through the digestive tract largely intact.

Chia Seeds: The Fiber Superstar

If fiber had a champion, chia seeds would certainly be in the running.

Their combination of soluble and insoluble fiber supports digestive health, helps increase fullness after meals, and contributes to healthy cholesterol and blood sugar levels.

They also provide plant omega-3 fats and absorb liquid beautifully, making them perfect for overnight oats, chia pudding, smoothies, or simply stirred into yogurt.

Pumpkin Seeds: The Mineral MVP

Pumpkin seeds may not get as much attention, but they quietly deliver an impressive nutrition package.

They’re especially rich in magnesium and zinc, two minerals involved in hundreds of processes throughout the body, from muscle and nerve function to immune health.

They also contribute plant protein and add a satisfying crunch to salads, soups, roasted vegetables, and homemade trail mix.

Sunflower Seeds: The Vitamin E Winner

Sunflower seeds are one of the richest food sources of vitamin E, an antioxidant that helps protect cells from oxidative damage.

They also provide heart-healthy unsaturated fats and fit almost anywhere, from salads and grain bowls to snacks and homemade granola.

Maybe the healthiest seed...isn’t one seed.

One of the things I appreciate most about nutrition is that it rarely asks us to find the one best food.

Instead, it invites us to build variety.

• Hemp hearts bring protein.

• Flaxseed brings omega-3 fats and lignans.

• Chia seeds bring fiber.

• Pumpkin seeds bring minerals like magnesium and zinc.

• Sunflower seeds bring vitamin E.

Each one contributes something a little different.

Maybe that’s the lesson.

The healthiest choice isn’t finding the perfect seed.

It’s making room for a variety of them.

Because nutrition isn’t built on one “superfood.” It’s built on the small choices we make over and over again.

Small foods. Mighty nutrition. Even better together.

Menu for the Week of July 27-31st

Monday

Curried Tofu Salad

Tuesday

Air Fryer Coconut Shrimp

Wednesday

15-Minute Frittata with Tomatoes and Arugula

Thursday

Salmon Bowls with Crispy Rice & Fresh Veggies

Friday

Vinegar Sparkling Water

Had to explain this one... 😄

While I was in Washington this past week, I sampled some incredible flavored vinegars, and it reminded me how much I love adding a splash to sparkling water. It’s such a refreshing (and surprisingly delicious) way to mix things up.

Have you ever tried it?

XO Jen

As you might expect, when they’re gone, there’s a sense of freedom. My husband and I usually look at each other and ask, “So...what should we do?”

Last summer, we explored Mount Rainier, and on our final day, a few fellow hikers insisted we had to come back someday to explore a part of the Cascade Mountains called the Enchantments. It was too far to fit into that trip, so this summer I made it my goal.

I was craving a solo adventure.

My Camry hybrid rental car had a sunroof!

I’ve learned that traveling alone fills a bucket in me that no other kind of vacation seems to reach. There is something deeply restorative about spending several days without caring for anyone but yourself. No schedules to negotiate. No asking where someone else wants to eat. No coordinating plans. Just waking up each morning and asking one simple question:

What sounds good today?

So I rented a tiny Airbnb just outside Leavenworth, WA, packed my hiking shoes, and decided to spend five days exploring as much of Washington’s Cascade Mountains as my legs would allow.

Today's post is part travel guide, part reflection. If you've ever wanted to explore this corner of Washington, I'll share some of my favorite hikes along with a few lessons that found me over the past six days :)

Read more

The vending machine offered every possible snack option, but my youngest son chose a bottle of lemonade (he would drink most meals and snacks if he could). And my oldest son picked out a Twix bar.

Of course, as soon as the purchases were made, they were already asking each other,

“Can I have some of yours?”

I looked at my youngest and offered, “You’re weclome to get a Twix, too, if that’s what you really wanted?”

He answered without hesitation: “No, I don’t want to eat the whole thing.”

“Well,” I replied, “you don’t have to eat the whole thing. You can save half for later.”

He looked at me and said,

“No. I’ll eat the whole thing. I can’t stop at half.”

Two thoughts immediately crossed my mind. First, how cool that he knows himself so well. Second, why couldn’t he stop at half?

Another thing I'd been noticing is how fast he eats. We’ll all go out for ice cream, and he’s almost always the first one finished. Compared to my other boys, because let's be honest, what parent doesn't compare a little when trying to make sense of things? He also seems to have a greater affinity for sweeter foods.

This kiddo was diagnosed with ADHD a couple of years ago. And with any diagnosis, learning continues. So I also wondered, how much do eating patterns such as these have to do with the way the brain is wired?

Some of the Current Evidence: What We Know About ADHD and Eating

One of the things researchers have consistently found is that ADHD isn’t simply about attention. It also affects executive functioning: the collection of skills that help us pause, plan, inhibit impulses, and shift our attention.

Reward Processing

Researchers have also found differences in reward processing. Immediate rewards often carry more weight for people with ADHD than delayed ones. That doesn’t mean food is uniquely rewarding for every child with ADHD, nor does it mean children with ADHD are destined to struggle with overeating. But it may help explain why pausing in the middle of something enjoyable can sometimes feel more difficult.

Studies have also found that children and adults with ADHD have higher rates of dysregulated eating and binge eating than the general population. But association is not destiny. Many people with ADHD never struggle with food, and many people who struggle with food do not have ADHD.

Some studies have found that children with ADHD consume more added sugar or more ultra-processed foods than their peers, while others have found that the relationship becomes much weaker after accounting for family routines, sleep, medication use, and other factors. Researchers think differences in reward processing may partly explain why sweet foods feel especially rewarding for some individuals with ADHD, but the evidence doesn't suggest that ADHD automatically creates a sweet tooth.

Interoception

Another area that has caught researchers’ attention is something called interoception: our ability to notice internal signals like hunger, fullness, thirst, or even a racing heart. Some emerging research suggests that people with more ADHD symptoms may have more difficulty accurately detecting or responding to these internal cues. It’s an intriguing area of study, although the science is still developing and certainly doesn’t apply equally to every child.

Like so much ADHD research, it gives us another place to be curious, not another conclusion to jump to.

That distinction matters. Science can help us become more curious. It shouldn’t convince us we’ve already written our child’s future.

A Conversation Reframe

I have learned so much about what evidence says on how we talk about food with our kids. And I have evolved in a good way. But I've absolutely commented on how fast he eats and how slowly my oldest eats. I wasn't judging what they chose to eat, but I was still sending the message that they weren't doing it quite right. Thinking…this is different. I am not judging their food choices, but I am still sending the message they aren’t doing something right.

And I know what this feels like.

I can still remember sitting around my grandmother’s dining room table when I was a little girl. Across the table, in front of several generations of family, she announced that I was eating too fast like my much larger cousin Chris.

I was humiliated.

I left the table and hid in a bedroom.

The tone of that interaction was very different from anything I have ever said to my own children. But the memory reminds me that even comments about how we eat can quietly become part of the story we tell ourselves about food.

So...still learning. Instead of statements, I’m going to try a few questions and come from a curious versus judgemental place.

Instead of,

“Why are you eating so fast?”

“Even though you’re done, can you hang at the table with us? Were you really hungry today?”

“How does your stomach feel? Is it still hungry or is it full?”

I also think it’s worth paying attention to when he last ate. If it’s been awhile, it can help explain the pace. Eating regular meals at predictable meal times seems to help all us with hunger management.

Kids love snacks, and I have sort of given up trying to manage this, but when they graze throughout the day may make it harder to recognize what hunger and fullness actually feel like. Summer is a very tricky time. The school year tends to offer an easier time of year to set this goal. :) But regular meals and snacks create opportunities to practice noticing those internal cues.

All of this is about helping children become more connected to their own bodies.

The Story My Mind Starting Writing

The most interesting part of the candy bar story wasn’t really my son’s answer. It was watching how quickly my own mind turned one observation into a prediction about his future.

One comment about a candy bar quietly became a story about how he might struggle with food someday. Nothing had actually happened.

He simply knew himself well enough to say, “If I buy it, I’ll eat it.”

The rest was my mind filling in the blanks. The more I parent, the more I notice how often this happens.

One behavior becomes a prediction.

One moment becomes a pattern.

Science has helped me become more curious about my son’s ADHD. But the research can’t tell me who he is.

That part still happens one conversation, one observation, and one shared meal at a time.

Menu for the Week of July 14-20th

Our kitchen remodel is officially underway. While I’m grateful for the upgrade, our cooking setup is a bit...creative at the moment. So if you notice a few more air fryer, Instant Pot, and grill recipes over the next couple of months, now you know why. 😊

Monday

Crispy Balsamic Tofu Quinoa Bowls

Tuesday

Air Fryer Twice Baked Potato with Black Beans

Wednesday

Air Fryer Pork Chops

Thursday

Grilled Flank Steak Salad

Friday

High Protein Vanilla Chia Seed Smoothie

Happy Grilling, friends! XO Jen